Connecting

I said I was going to write this year.  So, here I am.

I am always surprised by the quickness with which life can change.  Whether it's good or bad, all it takes is a moment to change everything.

Some moments occur more often than we'd like.

My hope for the new year is that I have less fear.  I am actually afraid of very few things.  What I have been experiencing for the past ten years is a kind of P.T.S.D.

I call it "post traumatic shitty life syndrome".

There are days where I am paralyzed and can not get out of the house.  I feel overwhelmed and full of sadness.  It has nothing to do with my present circumstances.  It was one hell of a first 25 years.  Some days I just wish I didn't have my past.

Then I start to think:  I am a part of something greater.  What if my soul had agreed to take on the challenges?  What if I agreed so someone else in my family didn't have to?  What if it was so that my children would see first hand how important your choices are?

We all matter.  Even the people we don't understand.  I believe we are connected by many things.

I believe the answer is love.