LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED

Libra Horoscope for week of January 27, 2011

I'll be interested to see how you shift your attitudes about love in the coming weeks, Libra. Fate will be bringing you good reasons to move away from long-held opinions about the nature of romance and intimacy. Your subconscious mind will be stirring with new dispensations about how best to deal with and express your life-giving longings. All in all, the process should be pretty enjoyable, especially if you relish psycho-spiritual riddles that impel you to probe deeper into the mysteries of togetherness.
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Even if you don't call yourself an artist, you have the potential to be a dynamic creator who is always hatching new plans, coming up with fresh ideas, and shifting your approach to everything you do as you adjust to life's ceaseless invitation to change.

It's to this part of you -- the restless, inventive spirit -- that I address the following: Unleash yourself! Don't be satisfied with the world the way it is; don't sit back passively and blankly complain about the dead weight of the mediocre status quo. Instead, call on your curiosity and charisma and expressiveness and lust for life as you tinker with and rebuild everything you see so that it's in greater harmony with the laws of love and more hospitable to your soul's code.

When I begin to think about romantic love a lot of things come to mind......the stirring of my heart.....the longing of my soul.....and of course the manifestation of passion.  There is no doubt a strange, glorious cocktail of many levels that come into play for someone to capture my heart.  Sometimes it's immediate and feels like a crazy ride at the amusement park....othertimes it's stirring and slow and growing so that before I realize it I am so helplessly captivated that I can't wait until the next time.

We all the know the signs......quickening of your heart when that person is around, not being able to get enough of them..and wanting to reveal all of yourself .....past and deep to them.  After all we are all looking for that unconditional lover and friend/confidante/partner in crime.  I have always been drawn to a certain kind of guy and it seems that no matter how it starts off, it winds up the same.  I am so happy that he is into me that I begin projecting onto him a ton of stuff.......sometimes beyond the benefit of the doubt when things begin to go wrong. 

Perhaps we all carry around a certain blue print within our soul of that special person and all of our life we quicken at the mere hint of someone being like that.  As I grow and develop however I have come to learn a few things.  No matter how attractive someone is, if he can't be there for the bad as well as the good it does me no good.  Character counts for so much more.  A man that will think of himself only and then me isn't what I do ever so how is it that I wind up with that so very often. 

I hear a lot of women talk about how insensitive men can be but I don't want or need a man to partner me in my sensitivity.  That would be a huge 'wah' fest and what good would that be?  I think a man that has empathy and can realize the depth of the existence of my emotions would be more practical.  After all it is up to me to actually take care of myself.  Anything that comes after that is a bonus. 

I have finally gotten over that there is no guy that rides in on a white horse or in a white charger, mustang, or be still my heart camaro.  After years of waiting and reading tons of romantic stories there is no one that just magically appears into your life and fits.  Sure there are people that appear and can fit but that isn't going to happen to me.  I am not the kind of woman that drives a man to distraction.  Men don't follow me around in the grocery store or stare at me in my car.  I am invisible....I have a huge do not disturb sign around me and it blares very loud and often to stay away.  At first it was because I got tired of the asshole magnet I had on my back that attracted every and any loser to me.  Once I could see that I got it through my head that some of us are just meant to be alone.  I won't be with someone that is attracted to me at first but then comes to resent me for my strength and intelligence in the long run.  I've been there and done that.

I thought to have a better man in my life I had to become a better woman.  I thought this meant taking care of the wreckage of my childhood....doing all that personal work....making friends with myself....standing on my own two feet. ....not being so damn needy.  I think I went a bit overboard.  I locked myself up and now I don't even know where the damn key is.  I built a fortress to protect me and my son only to find that I am very much alone behind the mote and the drawbridge and no one is on the other side of the gate trying to get in.

I am so very tired of being alone and not knowing that I fit in somewhere with someone.  I watch couple at the grocery store.......so very few of them are in sync or look happy together.  They look like they just want to be anywhere else but there.  So in the long run I hope to meet and be with a man that I can love and nurture and grow with and understand.  That I can trust and respect and lean on when I fall apart.  Someone that can trust me and know I wouldn't betray him because I don't know how to much less try to.  I am moving slowly into a new phase of my life and for the first time in a long time I don't know what to do.  I don't much care for that but I've been careful for a long time.  I haven't done anything rash or bizarre.  I have quietly endured poverty and sickness and solitude.  I know this isn't what life is all about or that I deserve to always have so little but I'll be damned if I know how to fix this. 

The negative committee in my head is working overtime.....telling me I am too old, too fat, to opinionated, that it's all too late.  Is that right?  I missed all the boats?  I have to stay on the island now with the smallest of supplies ot sustain me?  I am so afraid that I am starving for love and affection and attention that the first man to really fall for me that I won't be able to see and think at all for want of all the need which as you can see TERRIFIES ME.  

Someone can need me.......that's never been a problem but from the beginning wanting and needing someone else ends badly........parents go away.....friends aren't that true.......family doesn't always understand me......the World went from being a bright shiny place to something I have shunned and rejected. 

Love is the strongest thing in the Universe.  I know this and believe this with all of my heart.  I know what love feels like in a lot of different ways.  Perhaps the next phase is about leaping into the vast unknown again and this time finding somethings drastically changed for the better.  After all I know how to discern people better than ever before.  I don't lie.....I don't cheat.....and someone out there may not mind my fat ass.  Who knows.  My life giving longings have been so much on a back shelf that I fear they are beyond dusty.  So......we'll see what we see and I will hope what can be hoped.  Love is all you need.